Assalamu Alaikum my wonderful brothers and sisters in Islam..
Growing up I had strong belief in God, my family werent church people so religion was something we never spoken about. I never seen Jesus as God, I always seen him as one of our beloved Prophets. But like most youth were I grew up, I got into the gangs and fighting, the drugs and parting all day and night.
One night I saw someone get shot outside of my home, even that didnt scare me away from that life.. So I kept going, more drugs and more parties. UNTIL one night I got so high my heart almost exploded, I was rushed to the hospital after being found laying in the street.. After that night, i left the gangs, drugs parties and I got married a month later. Life was great! I was going to church every Sunday.. But then my husband started getting strange, he started drinking, doing drugs and have affairs. Everyday, I would go to work and come home to him being a big mess. He started his physical abuse. I was kept locked in the basement (which was a 8ft by 8ft small dark and damp room made for piping repairs). He would lock it and then put the couch against it so if even i broke the door down it still wouldnt open. He would beat me with boards with screws coming out of them leaving puncture wounds in the backs of my legs, he would beat me with his belts and electrical cords and thin tree branches even his own shoes! He one night got so angry because I picked up his phone to move it so I could clean the table and he pushed me down.. sat on my back, pulled my head back by my hair, hit my face. After this last beating.. I became extremely depressed, i felt deformed and ugly and worthless, it made me want to end my life.. this was the worst feeling you could get and it goes to the bottom of your stomach.. as I was attempting to do this act his computer made a noise, i went to it and seen his myspace account on.. so i hurried and made me one. within minutes a guy from detroit told me he was here to help me, I left a 'Help Me' message and told him what was going on, he told me to find a way to leave and get to the bus station.. that night i left and went home to my parents, but they had no room for me.. so i was homeless.. but happy i was away from my abusive drug addict husband!
I hitch hiked to Dearborn MI where I met a great muslim family, they took me in as their own daughter, i would watch them pray, how they do daily things and i felt so much peace within my heart. I started to dress more modest and wear hijab.. Their son was a soilder and was killed in Iraq and they had to go bury his body and so I left and went to Nebraska. There again..God had blessed me as I found a great Muslim. i got a job and an apartment and every night i was invited by Muslims into their homes to eat with them, i felt so incomplete without muslims in my life.. I started studing Islam. July 18th 2009 is when I finally embraced Islam and took my Shahadda.. This was the day the pain, agony, abuse and stopped! I felt brand new. Tears have never came from my eyes until that day.. Now just about everyday I cry to Allah to help my brothers and sisters in need as I once came to Him for myself.. I am happy to say that on Feb 23 2011 I became a mother! After being told since 2006 that my utterus would never be able to support a child as it was misshapped.... I am the happiest mother in this world! He is my everything and he is my little muslim habibi!
Your sister in Islam Zahara.
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