My Fiancé's Death Led Me to Islam. (Part 2/3)

My Fiancé's Death Led Me to Islam. (Part 2/3)
-Maria ( By Reading Islam Staff )

The Impact of the Quran

So I read the Quran and I read a lot of books, and I talked to a lot of people. And eventually I remember one day I was reading the Quran and it was maybe like 2 months after he died. I was reading the Quran and it all came clear to me. I just had this moment where it all made sense, everything that I was reading and everything that I knew and everything about him and everything about this whole situation. I just came to a point where I just knew that it was right.

I guess the first time I said the shahadah I was by myself. You know that point where I realized that everything made sense. That’s when the first time I was by myself, you know really I mean that was when I first felt it. Later I did when I ended up talking about it with some of my Muslim friends, they convinced me to go to Denver because there is a Sheikh from Denver that I went and talked to.

I talked with him and he kind of made sure that this is what I really wanted to do. He wanted to make sure that I wasn’t doing it for somebody, that I wasn’t doing it for my fiancé. We talked about this and I told him “Yes, this is for myself.” I said the shahadah with him and with two other of my friends as witnesses.

I hadn’t ever really talked too much about it with my parents because I knew they were not really keen on religion. I think the first time they realized I was really getting serious was in the last Ramadan, and I fasted for the whole Ramadan.

It was my first Ramadan and it was really hard, but I did it and that’s when they kind of realized “Oh, she is serious,” you know like “wow, she is really not eating all day” and I think that is when they first realized that it was serious. We never really talked too much about it. But eventually you know they came to accept it.

I suppose that if I hadn’t met my fiancé, I might not have learnt as much about Islam as I did, and I might not have made my decision to convert as soon as I did. I mean now looking back at everything that happened, I think I still would have ended up converting if I learned what I had. I think it was taking me a lot longer and it wouldn’t have been as clear decision because when he died that really made things clear to me like maybe because I never had such an intense experience I guess.

Before I converted I went to some parties and did that kind of things. I would say I was a different person. After I converted I kind of felt I had like a clean slate, you know, like I could start things over in a way. I felt like all the bad things I did in my past before I was a Muslim, I felt it kind not got erased but lost significance.