Patience in the Sunnah (1)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Patience in the Sunnah (1)

Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated that Anas Ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh 'peace be upon him') passed by a woman who was crying for her deceased boy.
He said to her: "Fear Allah and be patient."
She said: "Why do you care for my calamity?"
Then, when he went away, someone said to her that he was the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). She was shocked and went to him. When she arrived, she did not find any guards at his door. She said: "0 Messenger of Allah, I did not know you." He said: "Patience is at the first
shock.·' (2)

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(1) The following Hadiths are not all the Hadiths reported about
patience in the Sunnah. We have only selected a number of
them, especially there are a number of the Hadiths of this
chapter mentioned elsewhere in the book.(Translator).

(2) Transmitted by Al-Bukhari (1283) and Muslim (626).
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His saying
“Patience is at the first shock.”
Is like his saying,
“The strong one is not the one who wins in wrestling but he is the one who controls himself when being enraged.” (1)

The surprise of calamity has a fright that shakes the heart. So, if the one is patient at the first shock, it will become weak. The first shock is the unexpected calamity that comes to the heart and annoys it. But if it comes after the heart is getting used to it and knows that it must happen, then, patience will be like a pressing necessity.

So, when the woman knew that her crying was useless went to apologize to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) as if she was saying that she was patient but the Messenger (pbuh) told her that patience is at the first shock.
What he meant by that was reiterated by Sa’id Ibn Zarby about Muhammad Ibn Serin that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: (The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) passed by a woman who was crouching and crying at a grave. He said to her:

“O Bondmaid of Allah! Fear Allah and be patient.” She said: “O Servant of Allah! I bereaved.” He said: “O Bondmaid of Allah! Fear Allah and be patient.” She said: “O Servant of Allah! If you had a calamity, you would excuse me.” He said: “O Bondmaid of Allah! Fear Allah and be patient.” She said:

“O Servant of Allah! I have heard you, so go away.”
Then, the Messenger of Allah went away. A man from his Companions said to the woman:
“What did that man say to you?”
She said:
“He said to me so and so and I answered him with so and so.”
He asked her:
“Do you know him?”
She said :
“No.”
He said:
“He is the Messenger of Allah (pbuh).”
Then she ran after the Messenger and when she reached him, she said:
“O Messenger of Allah! I am patient! I am patient! He said:

“Patience is at the first shock. Patience is at the first shock.” (1)

There are different aspects of knowledge in this Hadith. The first one is that patience is necessary in the face of calamities. Allah commands it to His servants. The second one is enjoining the right and forbidding the wrong. The third one is to continue forbidding the wrong until the man returns to Allah.

The fourth aspect is that some scholars took this Hadith as proof for allowing women to visit graves. They said that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) did not prohibit the woman from visiting the grave but he ordered her to be patient. Therefore if her visit were forbidden, he would surely tell her. This opinion was refuted by saying that
when the Prophet ordered the woman to fear Allah and to be patient, it was an indication that he denied her action.
This is also indicated by the fact that when the woman knew that the man who had talked to her was the one whom she should obey, she left quickly. Additionally, the Prophet's curse to women who visit graves and people who build mosques on them took place later during his death illness.
In extension, when the Messenger did not let her know who he was, while she was in that state, he meant to consider for her grief. This is because if she knew, she would not listen to him. Moreover, her disobedience to him, while she did not know him, was better than if she knew him.
In Sahih Muslim, Umm Salamah said: "I heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) saying:
"Whenever a Muslim who has a calamity and says what Allah ordered him to say, (namely)
"To Allah we my in my calamity and give me what is better than it."