MARRIAGE IS NOT THE PURPOSE OF YOUR LIFE

MARRIAGE IS NOT THE PURPOSE OF YOUR LIFE smile emoticon

The purpose of your life is to worship Allah and there are different routes to that purpose marriage is just one of them. We forget marriage is a Sunnah and it becomes fard only when you start indulging in Haraam acts.

There are differing views on the obligatory duty of women (and men) marrying in Islam. Not getting into the legal nature of this action, as a Muslim woman (or man), if society and culture did not enforce this aspect in your mind as the ultimate goal in life, would you choose the single life? Or do you feel like in some point of your life, you would want the experiences of being a mother or a wife and all that it entails. We live in a culture in which marriage is presented as the sole purpose in life. But, what if a woman chooses to remain single? Why should she be ostracised by society or made to feel as if she's empty without it. I am not against marriage. I think it is a beautiful bond especially when that progresses into motherhood but there are women who do not (for good reasons) want to tread that path or perhaps at least not in her supposed prime age of marriage. She may choose to marry past her "expiry date".

Aside from this, It was interesting to know that there were many pious women who chose not to marry such as Umm al-Kirâm bint Ahmad b. Muhammad b. Hâtim al-Murwaziyyah. "She spent her life in Mecca. She was a good writer and a scholar. She was a student of Muhammad b. Makkî al-Kashmihînî and she used to write with exceptional accuracy. She taught the Sahîh hadîth compilations several times. She was virgin and never married. She lived a long time and her chain of hadîth transmission was highly honored. She died in 465H. [Siyar A`lâm al-Nubalâ’ (18/233)]"

The top Muslim scholars who never married are:
The first name will shock you!
Yes its our very own and beloved Ibn Taymiyyah(ra)! smile emoticon

Sheikh `Abd al-Fattâh Abû Ghuddah discusses the lives of a number of famous scholars who never married in his book al-`Ulmâ’ al-A`zâb (The Bachelor Scholars – first edition published by Maktabah al-Rushd). The following scholars are among those he mentions:

1. `Abd Allah b. Abî Najîh: one of the leading and most prolific commentators of the Qur’ân.

2. Bishr b. al-Hârith al-Hâfî: the famous ascetic.

3. Muhammad b. Jarîr al-Tabarî: the most prominent of all Qur’ân commentators, the author of Jâmi` al-Bayân better known as Tafsîr al-Tabarî.

4. al-Zamakhsharî: the famous scholars of Arabic grammar and rhetoric and the author of the commentary on the Qur’ân entitled al-Kashshâf.

5. Hanâ’ b. al-Sirrî: the famous scholar and ascetic, author of Kitâb al-Zuhd.

6. Abû `Alî al-Qârî: a leading scholar of the Arabic language

7. Abû Sa`d al-Sam`ânî: the author of al-Ansâb, the famous work on genealogy.

8. Al-Nawawî: the leading scholar of Shâfi`î Law, the author of al-Minhâj, a commentary on Sahîh Muslim and of the hadîth compilation Riyâd al-Sâlihîn.

Pursue your dreams, become the person you want to become. There is NO DATE OR PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED. If there was a "RIGHT AGE" we wouldn't have young sisters getting divorced. We girls need to marry when we are ready to "serve" someone and we find someone who is ready to "serve" us equally. Marriage is a big commitment and we need to make it with someone who we understand and believe we can live a happy life with.

Marriage is not something that should be forced on anyone either directly or indirectly. A person who is not happy and content single will never magically start being happy and content after marriage. Rather chances are their own sadness and regrets might destroy the life of their spouse.

Sisters are being kept home and displayed in the proposal marriage market like "goods to sell", their hijaabless pictures are circulated which are seen by prospective groom's entire family and neighbourhood. Their only worth is being accessed on what proposal they can bag based on their looks. How talented, generous, pious they are is overlooked.

This results in major self esteem issues where her worth is flushed down the drains by total strangers.

If she is one shade dark she is rejected
If she is one inch short she is rejected
If she is one year above 25 she is rejected.

Here entire life revolves around this stupidity. Please educate your daughters and strengthen them.
As parents you can give them 2 THINGS!
A SOLID EDUCATION (Islamic and worldly) THAT MAKES THEM INDEPENDENT & HUMILITY TO UNDERSTAND EDUCATION IS NOT EVERYTHING.

So many mishaps are happening with girls these days - the husband is an abuser, father dies, brothers are jerks, or husband was good and then he dies, some or the other calamity happens through out her life and only a good Islamic and worldly education is what will keep her grounded and stable.

Please educate your girl child!!
Marriage is not a happy end all and be all solution. And there are sooo many sisters who can attest to this fact. They wish they had pursued their dreams and studied.

Do not keep your girl child dependant on anyone - NOT EVEN ON YOU! Because guess what you will grow old and die too and she will be left all alone.
The only one they should depend on is Allah and their own hardwork and skills.
Your job is to help them achieve those skills.

Even with marriage brothers these days are putting their wives down for not being educated. They are told off because they are not educated and "they know nothing about the world". Statistics show that an independent and strong woman has less chances of being abused. An abuser either stays away from her altogether and doesn't marry her and if she ends up with one he knows he cannot mess with her and that there will be consequences and that she doesnt "need" him.

GIVE YOUR GIRLS EDUCATION!
MAKE THEM SELF-SUFFICIENT!
DO NOT MAKE MARRIAGE "THE SOLE" REASON OF THEIR EXISTENCE!

Sisters should marry, marriage is beautiful and it is an important sunnah. With the right man at the right time it is the best experience to have in your life. But you should marry for right reasons. To get closer to Allah alone.
Also THE RIGHT TIME TO MARRY differs for everyone.

Khadija (ra) married when she was 45 and had kids.
Aisha (ra) married young and she had no children.

Our deen is HUGEEEE! And there is place in our deen for everyone.

Being a mother and wife is not the sole duties of a woman in our religion.

She can be whatever she wants to be a Doctor, Scholar, Lawyer.
She can be single and she can be happy.
She can be married and she can be happy.
Nusaybah bint ka'ab was a warrior!
Khadija (ra) was a business woman - it was her wealth that supported the cause of Islam.
Ayesha (ra) was one of the top jurists of her time.
Umme Salamah would be the CEO of a charity organization she was so charitable.

The definition of happiness for everyone is different.

If marriage was a miracle solution we wouldn't have so many sisters stuck in marriages they do not want to be in. One of the top reasons they stay in abusive marriage? They have nothing else to do and nowhere else to go.

After a time even the most supportive parents give up and turn their backs when calamity strikes.

DISCLAIMER : Please do not read inbetween the lines and assume something that was never mentioned. Any negative comment will be deleted and banned. Please read this twice and keep any negative bias away. Open your mind to difference of opinions. If you do not agree lets agree to disagree. Jazak Allah khair